President Bush addressed the nation last night with a simple, direct statement. "We are all going to die horrible deaths... Thanks to Iran." Cuntelopes, the flying mammals responsible for BirdAIDS, were discovered in the late 1980's by an Iranian telemarketer. What the bird lacks in not having legs or feet to land on, it makes up for with precise aim, and remarkable agility. Bush promises to destroy Iran, and a real-time poll taken by FOX revealed that 51% of Americans support his decision.A list was compiled of the discouraging facts about this new disease in comparison to it's
predecessor, regular AIDS:1. This time you CAN get it just from kissing.
2. No amount of money can save you. *
3. Protection must be worn constantly.
4. Its not just for the Gays anymore.
The Bush address interrupted the hit show Grey's Anatomy, a premeditated plan to get as large an audience as possible. And the government has issued a set list of times that the show's episode will be rerun in it's entirety. The details can be found at www.americangov.gov under the link "Where's my show?"
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