COLOR IS STILL AN ISSUE

In a revealing interview with Anderson Cooper this past Thursday, the color Orange sought out to “cleanse the palette” on today’s issues involving color. The underlying purpose of this interview was to raise awareness of a new bill that is in the works; that proposes to add the color Orange to the Equal Opportunity roster.
“For too long, I have been discriminated against, unjustly represented and have not been given the same amount of opportunities that other colors have,” stated Orange. “I like trees, I voted for Gore, I want to put a stop to Global Warming, but Corporate America has made it clear that only the color Green can be used in these efforts. I want to save the children of Africa from dying of hunger and AIDS, I used to listen to U2, but I am not Red, and that part of society does not accept me.” Aside from the more recent examples, Orange described issues that have stemmed over the past few hundred years. “Blue for instance, there are over 20 variations of blue…Baby Blue, Sky Blue, Navy Blue, Midnight Blue, Powder Blue, Light Blue, and Dark Blue. I have zero variations…I am Orange. There is no Dark Orange and do you know what Light Orange is?... Yellow. I understand that I am not what you would consider a primary color, but Green has over 30 variations: Pine, Emerald, Grass, Bright, Dark, Forest...let me tell you a little secret about Green... it wouldn't even be a color if it weren't for Yellow and Blue.” Tempers flared as the show continued, Anderson Cooper, in an attempt to debate Orange, answered some of the concerns, “But pine trees are Green, emeralds are Green, grass is Green, these are mere references to the object’s color.” To which Orange replied, “Interesting point Mr. Cooper. Do you know what my objects are? I have one big one, it just so happens to be the largest source of Vitamin C available on Earth. Can you guess what brilliant name they chose for this object? Orange! It’s ridiculous! Bananas aren’t called Yellow, lettuce isn’t called Green. Yet another prime example of how oppressed I have been, not to mention the countless number of objects that have been flat out stolen from me. Do me a favor America... the next time you come a across a Goldfish... take a really good look at it.” The interview ended on that final note. Orange reportedly stormed off the set, begrudgingly passing the show’s Green room, and was not available for further comments. For more information about the new bill, and how you can help in passing it, search your local Yellow pages for your state representative’s contact information and submit and formal complaint.